It’s nearly Christmas

It’s nearly Christmas! And yes, the Coke trucks have been on the telly for at least two weeks by now. Holidays are coming.. holidays are coming… etc.

Pirate Day 2017

Ar! Celebrating a Hastings summer tradition.

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Status update


Remember last Christmas’s John Lewis advert? This is the sequel.

2016 in seven words

2016 was a year in which the human race seemed to take leave of its senses. We’re in for a wild ride in the next few years as the consequences of the stupid decisions we’ve made this year play through their inevitable courses. Stay safe, folks.

The real meaning of Christmas

In the interests of balance, here’s the other side of the Christmas equation…


We don’t see many illuminated inflatables in Britain, but I see a lot of them in Clovis, NM. There’s something sad about them during the day – deflated Santas lying collapsed on a front lawn made of straw.

Smudge v the clowns

In the war between Smudge and creepy clowns, there can only be one victor, and you can guarantee it won’t be the clown. Especially if her wall is involved.


The creepy killer clown craze was possibly one of the least bizarre manifestations of 2016. Let’s face it, in a world where a nation can vote for Brexit without actually having a clue what it means or how to do it, or in which Donald Trump is President Elect of the USA dressing up as a clown and intimidating people seems to be a perfectly natural response.

I’m not sure why ‘Rzzzzz’ is the sound a creepy clown makes – it just seems right. It’s a reference to a Frank Zappa album I’ve never actually heard, but I get the feeling that the actual music in the album can oly pale in comparison to the weird stuff I’m imagining this cover art should deserve.

There was some speculation on the comments boards (remember them?) that the clown would turn out to be an owl, based on the shape of the eyes. It was actually my attempt to draw a scowl when just the eyeballs are visible.

Suppose they gave a war and nobody came?

Some people can only get validation by being as obnoxious as possible and seeing what response they get. Ignore them and it’s like you’ve taken away the reason for their existence.